Every bride is unique in their own way, and yet all brides have to over come the same pre wedding pitfalls and we are here to flag them up so you know, firstly you are not alone and secondly, they don’t need to be big ones, just small puddle sized holes for us to elegantly leap over and leave behind in a puff of pre wedding sparkle. Simple right?!
These are the top 3 pre wedding situ’s that are completely normal.
- Bridesmaid Drama. If you are having them, it will come. Hopefully in one isolated incident, even better if it is without your knowledge in the organising of the hen party, but when you put a group of adult ladies in tight configuration, all of whom want to look ding dong knockout amazing, and all trying to mark their territorial ground because of course, they are secretly the one friend that knows and loves you more than the rest…… it is going to happen
How to avoid said drama: Go it alone haha. Ok not quite, but do think about how many and who you are having carefully. Although you promised all 8 at a sleepover back in 1996 whilst making friendship bracelets and playing dreamphone, (man what a game!) don’t feel guilty about not sticking to it. If you have anyone that you think might get upset about this, trust me this is a secret red flag. It is also OK to change your mind once you have asked your ladies. You are an actual human with emotions and life can change a lot in a few months and your engagement can last for many. If someone you thought you would stay close with turns out to be a little unreliable, just be honest and upfront and make a decision, calmly, rationally and directly to them. If you feel it is not right, chances are they are too. Remember it is your ONE morning to wake up and get everything as you want it. Anyone who genuinely loves you, WILL understand.
- Guest list guilt. Man O man, (another great game) did I hate this part. We see brides in all kinds of tangles over this one. It is a tough one especially if you are keeping things minimal and double especially if you are the first in your family or friendship circle.
My suggestion: Toughen up and decide together. Our other halves have a wonderful way of being less dramatic about decisions….most of the time. This is the time to use them. Write out absolutely everyone and then group them, direct family, top friends, work, plus ones, football buddies, friends of your Mums neighbour. Then get a drink of choice and start knocking them off in groups if you can. This gives you an easier explanation if people ask and stops you from picking out one or two. If there is one person from a group either of you are a little gutted about, put them on a side list and chances are as you take away full groups you will be left with an odd number to round up.
Tip -when ordering invites you can send to whole households and not just individuals or couples. Remember to work this out first as it is easily forgotten!
- Who is getting married? It could be the mother in law, your mum, your dad or you little sister, but someone will have you in situations you never thought you would be. From dress appointments that everyone wants to go to, to letting Great Aunt Dottie dictate that there must be fruit cake.
‘I am marrying John’…or Tom, or Steve or Jane, you get it: keep this as your own little wedding mantra. So step away from your Pinterest board that has got far too out of hand, and take a deep breath and 3 seconds every time someone adds something to your list. Is it what YOU want. Is it something that THEY want, and ultimately does it matter and are you both happy? Because that is why you are here and the entire process, from him acting shady and scoffing up the proposal to hoping he tears up as you walk down the isle, everything should be celebrating the two of you.